Yesterday I was in the grocery store. A package caught my eye. I picked it up and examined it. It was baby food. Across the front, in big letters: HEALTHY BLUEBERRY PUREE.

The substance actually resembled Rice Krispies. It wasn’t blue in the least, which indicates a somewhat minor contribution from blueberries. Ingredients? Wheat flour, sugar, rice starch, soy lecithin, sodium, 3 preservatives. Last and surely least, blueberry puree. Yes, blueberry puree probably accounted for about 0.1% of this abomination. Basically, this was baby Froot Loops.

WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE PURPOSELY FEEDS SUGAR TO BABIES!? And pretends it’s healthy? I hope every food company executive responsible for this gets a horrible genital rash and ingrown eyelashes.

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